OOC Thread: A Small Task for Radagast

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All current role-playing will take place, here; record or post links to your die rolls, as well as anything you feel is relevant to playing your character in our present adventure, for ease of reference. All current Out-of-Character (OOC) discussions should take place here, as well, such as Fellowship/ Company planning. Please, keep your die rolls and short OOC notes in the main game thread; you may even use an OOC note to point to a topic (insert a URL into your post) or post elsewhere in this forum, as long as it is relevant to the on-going game.

Old adventures and OOC posts will go into the proper forum category area once the new adventure and OOC thread have been established. OOC threads MAY carry over to more adventures if I deem there is not enough in the current thread to separate it from a new OOC thread.
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Re: OOC Thread: A Small Task for Radagast

Unread post by Fieranor of Imladris » 31 Oct 2019, 12:52

My friends, I go to do my sleep study, tonight, in about 6.5 hours. I will leave you to get your rolls and story-telling done and intend to answer everything tomorrow, if I actually do sleep, tonight. Have fun.
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Re: OOC Thread: A Small Task for Radagast

Unread post by Ellisidil » 06 Nov 2019, 09:15

So did I land on my feet, do a tuck and roll, or is it up to me...
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Re: OOC Thread: A Small Task for Radagast

Unread post by Fieranor of Imladris » 06 Nov 2019, 10:53

I'll leave it up to you, hehe. Let's just say one or two spots on your body, perhaps an ankle or wrist or knee, hit something, but only enough to bring some pain. At your young age you'll bounce back in no time, hehe.
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Re: OOC Thread: A Small Task for Radagast

Unread post by Fieranor of Imladris » 07 Nov 2019, 15:27

My friends, I don't think I'll have time to move the story forward, tonight, so if you have anything else to contribute please go ahead and post it and I'll try to update late tomorrow morning or early afternoon. It doesn't seem there's much to role-play, here, unless you guys want to run that.
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Re: OOC Thread: A Small Task for Radagast

Unread post by Fieranor of Imladris » 13 Nov 2019, 19:32

So, now I have three things trying to kill me:
1) Sleep Apnea - I did a sleep study at the end of October and the Doctor at the Sleep Lab in Shreveport VA Hospital called yesterday to talk to me about it. Apparently, I go Apneic an average of 47 times per hour, from between a few seconds and up to a minute-and-a-half each time, NO AIR.

2) A1C - My glucose level has been so high they won't even look at me as a surgical candidate for ANYTHING.

3) My PTSD is not worse than it's ever been, but now I know it's working hard to kill me MORE because of the Sleep Apnea. When my body is fighting for air through the night my PTSD triggers and puts me in a constant state of fight or flight. Fight or flight requires my body to produce more energy from sugar intake during my waking hours, but my body is not producing enough insulin to open those doors of my cells to let sugar in so it will metabolize properly. The higher levels of un-processed sugar in my blood stream puts me, on top of the fight-or-flight mode I'm now constantly in, at extraordinary risk for heart attack, stroke, and all manner of other problems.

So, here's the deal. I have an impossible time having anything over my face on a semi-permanent basis but I've been working with the CPAP (continuous positive airway pressure) mask they've given me so I could get used to it and, on Monday I go to pick up a temporary CPAP machine so I can actually spend up to a week getting used to the pressure pushed into my mouth and nose so I either do not go apneic or at least the numbers of instances of apnea get reduced significantly and I can get air into my body that I absolutely need. My blood oxygenation rate drops into the low 70th percentile when I go apneic; this was found out when I went for my sleep study at the end of October. Now, when I did that study, the technician there -very professional young lady- tried to get me on what is, effectively, a wide-bore nasal cannula; however, even on their lowest input setting the air was blowing so hard into my nose that I felt like I was, absolutely, drowning on that air.

If I'm going apneic 47 times (on average) per hour, then my body cannot get the oxygen it needs to heal, my brain doesn't get the oxygen it needs to heal and think and imagine, and I'm constantly exhausted. Frankly, with all the Doctors have told me, recently, it's a wonder I'm still alive, let alone able to function for my family, for thinking online, and for not only our game, but any game at all.

So, here's the plan...

The Doctor from the Sleep Lab at Shreveport is, as I said, going to loan me a CPAP machine and see how I do getting used to the air; I'm not to sleep with it, just walk around and do things with it, trying to get used to the airflow through the mask(s) provided with it. If I can work that out, however, it may still not be enough because my throat is constructing and my soft pallet falls to cover the throat followed by my big ol' tongue covering the soft pallet. She says there may be a surgical option, but at this point she's not sure if anything will work and, if we have to go with the surgical option I will have to find a way to get my A1C down even further than I have in the past three years, which has been hell on Earth to do.

However, there's a bright side to my doing this, several positive things, actually. I will be able to live longer, love better, be more cognizant of the world around me, and I might even get back my 136 IQ. If that happens, y'all are in for some trouble, LOL... because, I will be able to develop better than I've been doing. Lately, and I'm not going to equivocate, here, I've been running a mediocre -at best- RPG and I've begun to forget a lot more things. If I can get my short-term memory back to functioning, and if I can begin multi-tasking, again, the quality of our lives, here, will improve a lot. That's something to look forward to, I think.

Also, if I can get my airflow going, I can get out of that constant fight-or-flight physical mode my body is almost constantly in and I can start working on strengthening my body and mind, again, get my organs back under control, and live another forty years or so. As well, I can get my shoulder, knees, back, ankles and all of my other service-related maladies back under control and live for my beautiful Sarah and our Grand-babies... okay, our family, too, but mostly those wonderful Grand-babies, hehe.

Okay, so that's the update. If any of you have any questions, throw them up, here and I will answer them the best that I am able. I've had these conditions for a long time in my life, decades most likely, but as I'm getting older the conditions are getting worse; they can be massively improved, or they can go horribly wrong. So, if you don't hear from me for a long time at any point, at least a full week, there may not be a me to carry on, anymore. At which point, someone needs to get on this computer and make one of you the administrator of the page; download EVERYTHING and write several books around the subject matter, hehe. The likelihood anything is going to happen to me is pretty low, unless God says it's time to go home, and then nothing's stopping that, but you all now know my mind.

Now, I apologize about not having posted, I know it's slowed the game down, but my exhaustion deepens daily and my brain is more often than not increasingly addled by all the things taking place at this time of the year. No, I do not need nor do I want a break. I'm just apologizing to you all about what's been happening and, if I'm going to require you to let me know when YOU have to take a break -with or without explanation- I thought I had better follow my own rules, yeah?

Alright, time to go post on the game... I think it is likely to be short.
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Re: OOC Thread: A Small Task for Radagast

Unread post by Ellisidil » 14 Nov 2019, 10:01

Paul, I am going to suggest something here. When I was in, and same with you, we had gas masks that we were always issued, sometimes wore. I don't know about you, but we had to play volleyball and do our daily tasks in those masks and mopp suits. I also did this while "deployed" and in the field and while in the hospitals. So that being said, treat this like those gas masks, unless that triggers something, but do some excersize, even take short naps with that thing on. Pick up your water intake, and see what happens over the next little bit. Marcia has one and doesn't use it all the time either. It does help and she had to get used to it as well....if you want to talk let me know
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Re: OOC Thread: A Small Task for Radagast

Unread post by Lothíriel » 14 Nov 2019, 10:55

My best to you Paul and hope it helps. I'll certainly keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
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Re: OOC Thread: A Small Task for Radagast

Unread post by Fieranor of Imladris » 14 Nov 2019, 11:33

Dan, thank you for the advice; I'll take it. My family loves me in ways I've not understood, and perhaps still don't, and I'm seeing this as a responsibility, to be around for them and to attempt to better our quality of life.

Ross, thank you for the prayers and well-wishes. If you ask any of my friends that have known me face-to-face for all my life, there is one word they would always use to describe me: tenacious. :D
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Re: OOC Thread: A Small Task for Radagast

Unread post by Eadnes » 14 Nov 2019, 13:51

It sounds like you have a direction now Paul, I imagine that must be quite positive considering where you've been. Elaine frequently uses this quote. 'The Lord will give back the years the locusts stole', I'd like to think since we first started playing this game, despite hiccups, your life has continued to improve with you family and now you health. Good luck!
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Re: OOC Thread: A Small Task for Radagast

Unread post by Artorius » 14 Nov 2019, 13:58

Damn dude, some heavy stuff to work through but I am sure you will get on the right path and sort it out and come out stronger.
I dont really have any advice with your challenges so I will just come out with something... have you tried yoga?
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Re: OOC Thread: A Small Task for Radagast

Unread post by Fieranor of Imladris » 14 Nov 2019, 17:17

Eadnes wrote:
14 Nov 2019, 13:51
It sounds like you have a direction now Paul, I imagine that must be quite positive considering where you've been. Elaine frequently uses this quote. 'The Lord will give back the years the locusts stole', I'd like to think since we first started playing this game, despite hiccups, your life has continued to improve with you family and now you health. Good luck!
If I'm to be perfectly honest, beginning with my Sons, following on with you guys and all of your support and greatness as both friends and players in our game, together, and punctuated so positively as it has been by my beautiful Sarah and our faith, I have been made a better man day-by-day. That is the truth, and I would never say differently.

However, as happy as I've been, my exhaustion continues to build and my pain keeps popping up in places I would certainly prefer it didn't. If you would have told me in 1999 -when I got out of the Army- that, by now, I would be in the deteriorated physical and emotional shape I am, now, I would have told you that you were quite mad. However, as you've said, we have a direction for improvement and some modicum of regeneration, now, I am ready for this fight and, God willing, we will win and I can bother my Sarah for the remainder of hers. What's more, we might be able to head off problems age and overuse have begun bringing to Sarah; we all suffer them, eventually, but there are extenuating factors, here, and we will need help to fight.

Thank you, Pete.
Artorius wrote:
14 Nov 2019, 13:58
Damn dude, some heavy stuff to work through but I am sure you will get on the right path and sort it out and come out stronger.

I dont really have any advice with your challenges so I will just come out with something... have you tried yoga?
Truthfully, I'm looking into it. The VA has a virtual program every Thursday for Yoga and/or Hot Yoga, and it's been recommended to me twice, now. As soon as we have actual room to do it, or I can get signed up and hook up the laptop to the TV in the living room, where I'll be most likely to find room. What we really need is a living room with an arched ceiling so I can reach up, when necessary. The home we're in, now, was built in the late 20s, I believe, and has only a flat ceiling I can touch with little trouble and a ceiling fan in the way.

We're workin' on it, but it's going to take a bit more time and I might have to curtail some of the moves I will be doing soon enough.
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Re: OOC Thread: A Small Task for Radagast

Unread post by Moriel » 14 Nov 2019, 19:27

Thanks everyone for your thoughts, prayers and well-wishes. They are appreciated very much!

I want to also ask forgiveness for not posting as much as I probably should. We've had some crazy busy weekends, and I find myself absolutely exhausted after working all day; often falling asleep in the recliner watching TV. However, this Saturday, there is absolutely nothing on my agenda, and I plan on spending the day getting caught up on things around the house, including all the game notes.

I was blessed, however, this past weekend to attend Homecoming at Southern Methodist University in Dallas, where I received my BA Degree in 2000. The Mustangs are nationally ranked for the first time in 30 years and I had the time of my life listening to a fantastic band concert and watching the game. It was wonderful showing family around the beautiful campus.
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Re: OOC Thread: A Small Task for Radagast

Unread post by Ellisidil » 15 Nov 2019, 10:39

So I have another idea once you finish everything and they give you different options, A service dog? If this is an option maybe one should look into getting one for the PTSD and it might help calm everything. Also I belong to a group of guys on facebook, from the TX area that work with vets to help with all kinds of issues, if you want I can see about putting you in touch with them. Again only if you want and all they do is listen and some other stuff to help with the anxiety (camping, and survival related stuff)
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Re: OOC Thread: A Small Task for Radagast

Unread post by Frerin » 15 Nov 2019, 12:04

Paul, that sounds like some serious challenges you're having to struggle with. But they do say that knowing is half the battle, and modern medicine is pretty amazing, so I am hopeful that your faith and tenacity, and the love and support of your family are going to help carry you through this!

I'm afraid I can't be of much help on the medical side, but I will include you in my prayers and wish all the best to you both. And for what it's worth, I do not feel the game has been mediocre at all - in fact, if this is the quality of game that you can run with all those serious impediments, then I very much look forward to seeing what amazing things you will be able do when you are back at your full strength!
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Re: OOC Thread: A Small Task for Radagast

Unread post by Fieranor of Imladris » 15 Nov 2019, 15:37

Ellisidil wrote:
15 Nov 2019, 10:39
So I have another idea once you finish everything and they give you different options, A service dog? If this is an option maybe one should look into getting one for the PTSD and it might help calm everything. Also I belong to a group of guys on facebook, from the TX area that work with vets to help with all kinds of issues, if you want I can see about putting you in touch with them. Again only if you want and all they do is listen and some other stuff to help with the anxiety (camping, and survival related stuff)
Danny, thank you very much. Unfortunately we can't have a dog, here. We're presently living with Sarah's Dad, he'll be 88 in March, and he needs some real help, here; he doesn't do animals, I guess, even service dogs. It's alright because, for now, I'm holding it together very well. I was out walking a little bit ago and there was a young chocolate lab that decided to accompany me; I absolutely love dogs and this one was so great... I know it belongs to someone else, but it was too young to understand the word 'home'.

As for contacting the folks here in Texas, I think I'm alright and won't need to contact them. I seem to be unable to tolerate working with Therapists and groups, even all-military groups. Reboot Combat Recovery isn't like anything I've done, before, it's more of a Christian classroom environment, and I've had more help and more peace since Sarah and I joined them than I've had, before; we started at class 3 of 12, eight weeks ago, and we're already planning on doing the whole class, again, in January. Thank you for these things; I'm not ignoring them, at all, I'm simply already embedded under a set of rules or in situations or limitations that are different.
 
Frerin wrote:
15 Nov 2019, 12:04
Paul, that sounds like some serious challenges you're having to struggle with. But they do say that knowing is half the battle, and modern medicine is pretty amazing, so I am hopeful that your faith and tenacity, and the love and support of your family are going to help carry you through this!
First, just because I can't resist... 'GO, JOE!'

Second, thank you for the support. I'm hoping I won't have to take more than one actual drug for anything and, right now, that's my diabetes medication. I don't know if it's true in Germany, but here in the States there are laws that require the disclosure of possible side-effects of medication and, well, I'll just say that I do not intend to take a drug to solve or help one issue while taking on the evil of between 3 and 7 other maladies. No thanks. :D
I'm afraid I can't be of much help on the medical side, but I will include you in my prayers and wish all the best to you both. And for what it's worth, I do not feel the game has been mediocre at all - in fact, if this is the quality of game that you can run with all those serious impediments, then I very much look forward to seeing what amazing things you will be able do when you are back at your full strength!
ME TOO!!! I'm actually very excited for that. I could re-read the Middle-earth books, retain them better, and give you guys a well-improved experience.

Again, I truly do thank you all for the support and your continued love of our game... I will continue to do my absolute best for you all. I want to get back to integrating individual character stories, such as the one for Ellisidil with the Eagles and the stories Pete told for Éadnes that helped to give him the plans for his Bola and the story that was told when Moriel took down the lead Warg with a shot to the head, literally her VERY FIRST die roll of ANY role-playing game. These have been exciting and wonderful times and I look very much forward to having them back.
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EDIT (1617 local): Please forgive me if, at any point, I sound dismissive of your well-wishes, or as though nothing is affecting me. My faith is so much stronger than it's ever been -for those of you who are NOT believers, I don't mean to offend, but I can no more hold back my faith than any of you can hold back your most dearly-held belief- and that gives me an optimism I've also never had, before.
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